The high cost of wedding planning

Perhaps even more special than falling in love, is the moment a couple stands hand in hand to declare full commitment and lifelong devotion to one another. Weddings are special occasions created for unforgettable memories. But those memories can come at a high price.

The Kern County Bridal Association says local couples spend an average of 18,000 to 22,000 dollars on a wedding.

While that is lower than the national average, money

experts say the bride and groom should weigh their options and create a realistic budget without sacrificing a beautiful big day.

Wedding website Theknot.com says the average U.S. wedding in 2014 cost roughly $31,000 dollars. That excludes the honeymoon and destination weddings.

"If you start your marriage out $20,000 or $30,000 dollars in debt, that's going to put a strain on the marriage," said David Anderson, financial advisor

and owner of Moneywise guys.

According to researchers at Emory University who studied 3,000 U.S. couples, those who spent $1,000 dollars or less on their wedding were 53 percent less likely to get divorced. Yet couples who spent over $20,000 dollars were nearly 50 percent more likely to divorce.

"If they were to put that money towards a home

for example, that would easily be a very good substantial down payment on a home," said Anderson.

What about asking mom and dad to pitch in?

"The problem with borrowing from mom and dad is mom and dad are also ill prepared for retirement for the most part," said Anderson.

Instead he says parents should focus more on their children's future.

"Help them put money down on a home, help them pay for education, or maybe you could put it in a 529 plan for the grandchildren so they can have money for college," said Anderson.

Bridal shows can be a one stop shop for bargain hunting, thanks to the deals.

"You could honestly walk away from a bridal show saving four, five, $6,000 dollars possibly on your wedding," said Kyle Brown, co-founder of the Kern County Bridal Association.

Experts say even with discounts, make sure to stick to the budget.

"I would stick to an amount that will not not put into debt for a huge amount of money," said Anderson.

The Kern County Bridal Association has a bridal show coming up this Sunday April 26 at the Kern County Museum. Free wedding planning guides will be provided.

The Kern County Bridal Association has these wedding planning tips:

1. Set your priorities and budget for the things which are most important to you.

"Go a little lighter on the food and spend more on the entertainment" for example, if you care more about having a good time on the dance floor than the type of food served.

2. Backyard weddings aren't always the least expensive option.

Balance the cost of table & chair rentals, lighting expenses, parking permits and bathroom rental with the cost of an inclusive venue instead of automatically assuming the home option is cheapest.

3. Plan ahead.

Catering, DJ and venue rates increase each year. If you have the time to plan ahead, lock

in a good deal before costs rise.

4. Always get a contract.

A contract will secure

the agreement of price between both parties. Make sure you have a printed and electronic copy with signatures. 5. Pay with a credit card

. Hopefully nothing goes wrong with a service. But if a company suddenly goes out of business

, or a vendor just doesn't show up, your credit card company can go after your money. Make sure the credit card used is not a debit card.

Moneywise Wealth Management has the following advice:

1. Set a budget early on and stick to it.

Setting a realistic budget will not only help better control finances, but you are less likely to be influenced by prices quoted by vendors which may be more than you can afford.

2. Do not go into an extreme amount of debt for a wedding.

If $10,000 will put you into debt, that is too much money. Stick to an amount that will not put you and your fiance into a huge amount of debt.

3. Place wedding expenses on a credit card as long as you pay that credit card off in full.

You do have reward points and added protections by paying with a credit card, but you could also be your biggest enemy when paying with plastic. If you don't have a history of paying off your credit card and you typically run a high balance, pay with cash instead. There are more financial risks for you than rewards.

4. Spend a small amount of money on the wedding, and more on the marriage.

Saving on the wedding provides more money for a down payment on a home, decreasing student debt, or saving for future children.